As The Days Go By, I Die A Little Inside
by demon-slave92
Summary: Hermione is in a marraige and she finds out her husband has been cheating on her. she goes away for a while, but everywhere she goes holds memories of her marraige.post HBP . sorry, i didn't mention that before. don't own harry potter. cry
1. Why?

**_AN) enjoy! please read my AN at the end!_**

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"No!" I screamed. I took the sapphire vase that was placed at the entrance of the door and threw it across the room. The vase shattered as it made contact with the opposite wall. Pieces of glass lay on the carpeted floor and covered the wall. The remains of the vase sparkled in the moon light. That had been one of my favorite vases. It had always attracted so much dust but I didn't mind cleaning it.

My husband Mistress snuggled deeper into the coverlet, trying to hide her naked body. How many times had she been in our house, in our bed, in my spot, sleeping with my husband, enjoying the things that I helped buy? What really had me was how she was snuggling into the coverlet, my coverlet! My husband and I spent hours picking out that coverlet, three thousand thread counts, Egyptian cotton!

I know what you're thinking, it's just a coverlet; get over it. Well, I can't! That coverlet is very special to me; everything in this house is special to me. My husband and I bought everything in this house, everything. It had been our first year of marriage and my husband thought it would be good if I decorated our house, make it feel comfortable and homey. Well at first all we did was fight about everything, if we weren't fighting about the size of the bed or the color of the walls, we were glaring at each other or not speaking at all.

One day we finally agreed on something. We both loved it the second we saw it, the color was perfect, light blue not too feminine or too manly. Now I see her on it, my beautiful coverlet;** our** beautiful coverlet. Just like she was contaminating my coverlet, she was infecting my marriage! I began to wonder, how many other nights had she been in our house? How much time had they sent together, had they planned on this? Coming into our house and…I can't say it.

"Why?" was all I said but oh how I wanted to say more! I wanted to yell, thrash and throw things! I wanted to jump on** my** bed and pull my husband's Mistress by her hair off until she squirmed, thrashed and screamed for me to stop. I wanted to make them hurt, like I was hurting. I wanted to collapse in a useless puddle and cry. I wanted to cry, wanted them to see what they did to me but I didn't.

All I did was slowly walk over to the cream colored chair by the window and sat down. My husband's Mistress crawled to my husband's side; he always liked to stay next to the window. She thinks that would help my anger? Was she trying to get me angry or was she just stupid? I saw her hands seek out my husband's, as her hand closed in on his, a part of me died. I felt light headed and so confused, something I, Hermione Ann Granger, have never been.

A part of me thinks my husband held her hand by pure instinct, another part of me wanted to draw my wand and jinx them both with the darkest curses I knew. I looked at my husband hoping to find his face filled with concern, sympathy, or care but he wasn't looking my way, no he was staring intently out the window, at the full moon. As I too stared at the moon, memories that seem like forever came rushing back, one beating every other and playing like a movie before my minds eye.

**_It had been our late date, back at Hogwarts. Harry had blinded folded me and led me into - I don't know where but when he finally took off the blind fold, my eyes were sparkling in the moon light. We were by a pond, a picnic blanket set up on the ground, by the water. That had to have been the best date of my life. We were so close, closer than we are today. I was sitting in between Harry's legs, very comfortably, having some of Harry's favorite dessert, treacle tart. _**

**_Harry then leaned in and kissed my neck ever so slowly, his hot breath leaving goose bumps behind. I couldn't help but moan his name softly. I felt him smile into my neck, my eyes fluttered and closed. Little ouches like that was always my undoing. I forgot all about treacle tart and pulled Harry's hands tighter around my waist. As Harry's mouth got lower, I was slowly losing myself in ecstasy. _**

**_Harry then started to kiss my chest, tasting my skin, never even leaving a trail to follow. That was as far as Harry and I had gotten to fooling around that night. When we stopped our attention was captured by the moon, so big and bright. Silver covered us as we gazed at the moon Harry slowly stepped away from me. I thought he was leaving me to back to Hogwarts but he then stood in front of me. He got down on his knees and fumbled in his trouser pocket and pulled out a shiny silver and blue box. As Harry lifted the lid of the box, I couldn't say anything. _**

"**_Hermione Ann Granger, I have loved you for seven years, dated you for a year, watched you grow into the beautiful woman I know today. I've known you for seven years but it feels like I've only known you for the year we've been dating. The wonderful qualities I didn't notice when we were younger have been brought to my attention, I love you so much that if you say no I will die," he smiled teasingly at me._**

_**Why would he do this to me now? I had thought. I wasn't even dressed properly, wearing my most hideous clothes, my hair even frizzier than normal. As the look of horror took over my face, Harry's face fell dramatically. His green eyes sparkled with unshed tears; I had hurt him. "Will, you be my wife?" he asked forlornly.**_

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**_AN) FINALLY, for everyone who has been waiting for my update on my other story, LOVE THING you won't have to wait much longer. I've been so busy (and a bit lazy but school does that to me) I've had to take my state math test and I'm not doing too good in science and math so I had to try a little harder and that meant not updating my story. The chapter for love thing is almost done just need to edit and do a little fine toning; it should be done by Saturday! Please review! Don't worry the chapters will get longer!_**


	2. Confused

**_AN.) Most of my stories are based on my feelings when I get the idea for the story. This story idea came at a time where I thought I liked someone but they didn't like me and it went spiraling out of my control, to this very day I'm confused. So this story is to show my confusion at life and the relationship I hoped I would have had. Sorry this took so long to update, my computer was being an ass and didn't let me sign onto my account for about a month! Anyways, here is the next chapter._**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, but I wouldn't mind owning Kelly Prophete _**

**_( He so hot. Lol )._**

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**_I looked deep into his eyes and tried to find and answer for him. All I saw though were bright green eyes telling me that with each second I took, the more pain and heart break he was feeling. I try really hard to speak but all I did was open and close my mouth repeatedly. I couldn't think. What is wrong with me? I had thought. Speak now! I had commanded myself internally but I just sat there. For the first time in all my years of Hogwarts, I had nothing to say. They say that when the one you love request you to marry him you immediately say "yes". What is wrong with me, I think to myself. _**

**_Why wasn't I jumping up for joy, holding on to Harry as if my life depended on it? Should I be crying tears of joy, yelling at him because he took so long to ask me? Then again that wouldn't be right, I'd never even thought about Harry and I getting married. I had always had my dream wedding planned out; I just didn't have the face of my husband to be. For most of my childhood I had my wedding day all planned out, I had everything planned to the tee, sometimes substituting boys faces but over the years I thought less and less of my dream wedding and more about the war and my school work._**

**_So, what do you say when the man you love asks you to marry him and you've lost all speech? Well, I took out my wand and wrote "YES," in big messy script and lunged into his arms, knocking him to the ground. I hugged him hard while he smiled the brightest smile and kissed me. _**

"_**I though you were trying to tell me no," Harry said to me.**_

"**_I – couldn't speak, Harry, I could not speak at the time most important to me. I'm so sorry, that must have been hell," I said quickly, I then began kissing his tears. I hugged him harder and brush my lips against his._**

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As the memory of Harry's proposal to me faded and I came back to my senses I stared transfixed at Ginny, the women who had caused me such pain. We've been friends since my fourth year at Hogwarts. I was now nineteen and her eighteen, had our friendship meant nothing? Why would she hurt me, what wrong did I do her? When Harry and I announced that we were getting married she did not hold any objections, no ill words nor did she shun me.

"Why?" I asked again, this time looking directly at Harry. I wanted him to see the pain that was now on my face, wanted him to tell me so many things, most of all I wanted him to look at me as he did only a few months ago. I wanted him to turn around and sweep me into his arms and look at me with his once loving emerald eyes.

Was it too much to ask that I wanted the affection of my husband? We used to be so happy, almost always holding hands, a kiss here or there, lying in bed doing nothing but holding each other. What I miss most days is the conversations we would have together. We would talk about almost everything; Harry would always have something to say, not like our years at Hogwarts.

"What happened to my husband?" I asked quietly. I wasn't sure whether I was ready to face this yet or maybe I wasn't.

"Hermione, we didn't mean for this to happen," Ginny said softly, she was trying to calm me down. This got me upset, who was she to tell me such things anyway?

"How long have you been having sexual relations with my husband?" I asked; though I was looking at Harry, willing him to answer me, to do anything, anything but pretend I wasn't in the room.

"Hermione we didn't mean to hurt you, we're sorry," was all she said to me. Did she think she was four years old and I was her mother? Saying sorry wouldn't help me right now, my head was throbbing.

"Saying sorry isn't going to do anything!" I started to yell, anything to relieve this pain, my chest was ready to burst. I swiftly stood up and my black robes swished with my sudden movement, even then Harry didn't look at me. Ginny curled next to his side and looked pleadingly at me with her blue eyes.

"Hermione, you've got to understand, Harry and I are in love! We've been in love since the day I first kissed him! Please understand," she shouted at me, **_she _**shouted at me? How dare you say such things? I should be shouting, hell I was shouting!

"What do you know about love? Have you ever waken up at night so scared that you were afraid to go to sleep? Have you ever cried so much you passed out from exhaustion? Ever woken up to an empty bedroom because your husband left you after making love to you? **_Have you_** ever had a woman who had just **_slept_** with your husband - single handily ruining your marriage - tell you to **_understand_** what **_she_** was feeling?" I shouted at Ginny, I then picked up one of Harry's expensive cologne. I picked it up and threw it at the wall where it shatter and spilled its scent on the wall.

"Hermione, stop this nonsense! You are not a child, throwing things and having tantrums isn't what a nineteen year old should be doing!" Harry said, speaking for the first time. I looked at him bewildered. What had happened to the man I fell in love with? This surely wasn't my Harry, my wonderful Harry.

"You surely aren't blaming this on me!" I shouted indignantly.

"You sleep with my best friend, blow me off every time I try to talk with you, every night after we make love I wake up and you're not next to me! Why?" I finally broke down and slowly the tears made their way down. He and Ron could always get a rise out of me; we use to joke about it all the time, now days we hardly joke at all.

"We weren't working out, you know it, I know it, even Ron knows it," Harry said swiftly. Had he thought about this? Why hadn't he ever tried and talk to**_ me_**? If anyone should have known it wasn't working out, it should have been me! But that's a lie, I saw the signs, if waking up to an empty house didn't give it away then the constant arguing should have tipped me off.

"Still! What in Merlin's name gave you the right to do this? To hurt me like this? Do you know how much pain I'm in right now? Of course you don't! And why can't you take a hint and leave!" I yelled the latter at Ginny, startling her. They, Harry and Ginny, hadn't moved, not even to get their wands or put some clothes on. It wasn't helping my anger that she was still in the room, naked, next to my husband or ex-husband really.

"If Harry's here then I can be too. I mean it is Harry's house and he can have who ever he wants come visit him," there she went again, acting like a thick child, never knowing when to shut up. I gave her a cold stare, making her shrink back into the bed.

"If I were you Ginny, I'd be holding my tongue at this moment, there's no telling what an angry woman will do when she meets her husband's mistress." I said acidly. I then proceeded to pull out my wand and point it straight at her; Harry stared at me for a moment and then whispers into Ginny's ear. Ginny turns red and yells:

"You want me to leave! Why?" She asked angrily.

"I think I can answer for Harry, Half of everything in this house belongs to me! You happen to be in my half of the bed! I'd like it back," as I said these words I pointed my wand at the bed and thought the spell for cutting things. A light blue spark emitted from my wand and hit the bed making Harry and Ginny roll off the bed. The bed was now split into two.

"Hermione! Act like an adult!" Harry shouted to me, my face grew crimson and it wasn't from embarrassment.

"How dare you Harry! I am not a child, I just- I just- wish you understood like when we were children! I wish you would talk to me once in a while! I wish you knew the pain I was feeling right now! If you felt what I'm feeling you'd die."

"Hermione stop acting so melodramatic, you know I love you but we've changed. The fire and passion we had just isn't there anymore – sorry," that was all he said before he took his wand from the bedside table and with a flick of his wand he and Ginny were fully clothed.

"Look Hermione, I'm truly sorry about this. We were planning on tell you about us next week. It's just that we're so in love and we didn't want to hurt you, so we thought it best if we told you we were getting married next month, we are truly sorry you had to find out like this," said Ginny to me. I was too shocked to say anything; they were planning on getting married?

"How extensive has your relationship been?" silence. That's all that came after my words. It must have been quite awhile when they first began seeing each other intimately. I was so hurt, the pounding in my head was getting a little too much for me to bear.

"I think the least you both could do is answer my question!" I shouted at them, giving each a glare in turn. Ginny looked at Harry in fright. They were afraid; they knew better to get me any anger. With my wand still in my hand I glided up to Harry and waited.

"It started six months ago," he said looking me in the eyes.

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**_AN.) Okay, so how did you like this chapter? Come on; tell me what I need to do to make this better. This chapter is dedicated to my two really good friends, my eyes, ears and mouth, Tina A. and Sarah C. Sarah; I know you are going to read this so you had better review. _**

**_PS. Kick Erica's ass already!_**


	3. Defance

OMFG! I'm so sorry this took so long but my muse has left me, twice! I can't even write my poetry anymore. So without my muse I found it hard to continue and so I just started to brain storm. I started this chapter about a month ago (today is 6/8/06) but then I stopped. I checked my email and I saw I had a review. I felt so bad! I'm sorry it feels like I've been neglecting this story. Don't worry, I hate when story chapters are too short and stop with a cliff hanger. If I ever leave you with a cliff hanger it's because I didn't know how to start; that's what I did with the first chapter. Well, here it is. ENJOY AND PLEASE REVIEW.

I'm sorry if I didn't mention this before but this is post HBP.

DISCLAIMER: I'M A FORGETFUL PERSON SO IF I FORGET THE DISCLAIMER, REMEMBER I NO OWN HARRY POTTER.

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As The Days Go By, I Die A Little Inside

Chapter Three

I stare him hard in the face and I begin to break. He was still staring me defiantly in the eye, Ginny was looking at us; waiting for my out burst of anger I was sure. I wanted to do so many things at that time, yell, cry – and most of all die. It had only been an hour since I had returned from the ministry and found Harry and Ginny together, what would happen now? What would have happened if I had not returned home two hours early? What would have happened had I not turned down Anthony's request that I join him for our usual after work cup of coffee?

I racked my brain for the date of about six months ago; I was trying to figure out what happened that day, what happened to make him do such a thing as cheat; with my best gal pal. Then slowly, like an old classic televisions program my impeccable memory goes into high gear and the events that happened came back to me.

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_FLASH BACKKKK_

_It had been early December, the snow had just began to fall and I was outside waiting for Harry to come home, it was our nightly time together where we would just sit and do what felt natural. I was waiting by the small manmade pond in our back yard when Harry's hands encircled my waist and pulled me into his chest. I sighed in tranquility, his hugs always made me feel, reassured. _

_I took a deep breath and inhaled his wonderful scent, I loved how he smelled. As the smell of cinnamon apples and vanilla invaded my nose, making it tingle, I leaned my head in the crook of his neck and closed my eyes. At that time there was nothing better than having Harry by my side._

"_So, for Christmas I was thinking we travel some where, I just don't know where. What do you think Hermione?" Harry whispered into my ear, making my face hot. He knew I was sensitive around my ear. I giggle and answer him._

"_Harry, you know I have a business trip with the ministry, two weeks. God it's going to be a bore," suddenly Harry lets me go and I almost fall over but quickly balance myself. Harry looked at me like I was crazy._

"_You can't!" he said like a little child who wouldn't get their way, he was going to guilt me into not going. Harry could be so endearing some times._

"_Harry! You knew I was going, I told! Two months ago," I said with a wistful smile on my face. I knew he remembered, he just choose to forget._

"_I remember no such thing!" I give him a hard stare and scowl at him._

"_All right, I remember now... Come on Hermione; you don't even like to go to theses things and besides its Christmas! A time to take off from work and spend time with your husband, who has been lonely," he pouts at me with a playful look in his eyes._

"_Sorry?" I said as a question to know if he was okay. His pout quickly went away and a hard look came over his eyes. _

"_Damn Auroras! Glad I backed out of that profession," he said smiling at me but his smile was forced; I could tell. _

"_I'll make it up to you, I promise," I said to him. He then opened his arms to me and we stood like that. The next morning was not what I had expected. I woke up three hours late for work, something that had never happened to me in all my years. Harry wasn't in bed and as I quickly threw on my work robes I call for him. _

_He walks into our bed room smiling a sweet smile but I glared at him. He gave me a puzzled look and moved towards me and planted a kiss on my cheek. Normally I would have leaned into his lips but not today. He slipped his arms around my waist and pulled me close. _

"_Don't be mad," was the first words to be uttered from his mouth and I groan in frustration and pull away from him. "Don't be mad"? I thought to myself. What did he expect me to be? He chooses the worst day to get back at me; I had a presentation to do from the auroras at work and now I was three hours late! What kind of example is that? Anthony will never let me live it down because I'm always telling everyone to be on time._

"_God damn it Harry! This is a really important day in my life! Why today? Any other day but today," I said tears in my eyes. _

"_Well, I'm sorry. I didn't know! It seems like I never get to spend any time with you so I thought today wouldn't matter, it's Saturday," he said to me; still playing the child card. _

"_Harry! Don't try and put the blame on my plate. You're always doing something for charity or you're out with the weasley's. We rarely have time to even say 'hi' before either you or I leave," I said to him while putting on my shoes._

"_The only reason I do theses charities is because you told me to! I didn't know it would become so time consuming, you're no exception either. You're always doing something for work or you're hanging out with Anthony, yes; there's nothing going on between you two but it's so obvious he wants something to happen." He yelled stubbornly. _

_I groaned in anger and chose to ignore him, he'd come around. As I finished putting on my two in black heels I stand to look at Harry; he wasn't looking at me but out the window. I open my mouth to say I was sorry but I couldn't do it; I had too much pride. _

"_Listen Harry, lets talk about this when I get back from work, okay?" I asked. I didn't like it when he was angry at me, it just hurt too much._

"_No, let's talk about this now. If we don't talk about it soon we'll never move past it," he said with determination._

"_Harry, I'm late as it is, I can't. Tonight, I promise!" I said pleadingly with him. _

"_Fine, I thought you'd care more about our marriage than your job, "he said to me and Apparated away. I stared at the spot he had been standing in. I was confused, we had fought before; what marriage couple hadn't fought about something? What had he meant? I cared way more about our marriage than my job._

_I knew well enough that I didn't have to work; I knew Harry could take care of me and himself and we could live comfortably but I liked working! Was that so wrong? Since I was out of school there would be nothing for me to do. I really didn't want to go work for the ministry, it was so corrupted and why would I want to take orders from Rufus?_

_But when Rufus died of a stroke a few months after the second war I happily joined, well who wouldn't when they made Susan Bones his replacement I was shocked and happy. I knew Susan would be a great leader, though like fudge she calls upon Harry and me when needed._

_I didn't go to work that morning, I just lay in bed and cried for a while; Harry didn't come home until ten O' clock that night and when he came in he didn't bother to be discreet about It., he just walked into our bedroom and made a bee line to me; he still looked angry but I didn't care, he was home._

_I jumped out of bed and ran into his arms, tears running down my cheeks. I wrapped my hands around his neck and cried into his shoulder. His hands lay at his side, never moving to return my hug._

"_Harry, I'm so sorry! I didn't – mean," and that's were I completely breakdown and start to hyperventilate. Harry, thinking quickly, carried me to our bed and lays me down and starts to get me mouth to mouth resuscitation. After a few minutes of this he puts my head in his lap and looks me in the eye._

"_Have you been crying since you got home from work?" he asked me lovingly; the hard look in his eyes disappeared the second I couldn't breathe. I shook my head._

"_I didn't go to work today; I was waiting for you to come back," and just as suddenly as Harry's entry my eyes shot up._

"_Where were you?" I asked, most of the tears had dreaded off my face. He looked guiltily at me and whispered an apology; I thought he was saying he was sorry about leaving me but now I realize the sorry he meant._

"_I was all over and – I – went to visit the weasley's. Spent most of the time eating," he said but he didn't have that smile on his face, the one he wears after every visit with the weasley's._

"_Is there something wrong, Harry? If it's about this morning I'm really sorry. It was just – " _

"_You don't have to explain Hermione; I guess I just over reacted. I'm the one that should be sorry. Lets not talk about it," he said, not looking at me._

"_But –" _

"_It's not important, all that is important is, I have the love of my life," he said with a small smile on his face. I smiled a great happy smile and captured his lips in a kiss. He kissed me back but now that I think back on it, that kissed on his part felt forced. But by the next couple of days the argument was forgotten, in my mind. _

_After about a week Harry got snappish with me; always over the smallest things. One morning I asked him;_

"_Which do you fancy, Harry Eggs sunny side up or an omelet?" He looked alarmingly at me and edgily said:_

"_What does it matter? I always have a cheese omelet, why the sudden change?" _

"_I just thought you may want a change," I said, eyeing him curiously._

"_No, I like things the way they are, "he said, relieved?_

_Then the weeks following that got to an unbearable point. He was coming home late sometimes too early; the thought that he was cheating hadn't crossed my mind. But as we began to argue I sought help from my only close friend, Ginny. But she was no help, I wonder why._

_The months where all we did was fight had past and we finally had one night to our selves, yesterday. He had been so sweat, a romantic dinner to a new restaurant that had just opened. I had a really great time. We came home and we did nothing but sit on our bed and talk until I fell asleep. I wish I hadn't, I wanted to tell him something really important, I just knew he'd like my new. After all, he was the one that put the idea into my head._

_The next morning I wake up and he's not next to me. I search and find nothing, not even a note. I go to work, expecting to see him after I get home. Work was just the same as always, if it weren't for my best friend, Anthony, work would be a complete drag. He brings my mood up with his jokes and small pranks; it was like having Ron around, but Anthony was a lot more tactful than Ron, how I miss him._

_After work Anthony waits for me so we can go enjoy our after work cup of coffee and relax but I turned him down._

"_I want to get home to see Harry," I said with an apologetic smile._

"_one day I'll be married and I'll be ditching you to hang out with him, and he'll be a lot hotter than your husband," he then stuck his tongue out at me, smiled and hugged me goodbye; I Apparated home and found Harry and Ginny in bed together._

_**END FLASHBACK**_

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"Get out," I whispered angrily. Ginny walked up to Harry and pulled on his sleeve; signaling for him to follow her.

"this is my home too, Hermione. I have as much right to be here as you do," Harry said, ignoring Ginny's silent pleas to go.

"I think you loose that right when you have sex with a whore, in our house, in our bed," I said, turning away and looking at the moon. Ginny's Gryffindor spirit made it's way to the surface and verbally attacked me;

"How dare you!You go off to war and come back with my boyfriend's heart! I thought you were my friend, you betrayed me! Harry was mine! He is mine! We will be together and I know what we did was horrible but our love was meant to be, it was for seen in the stars, our love is magical," she ended her angry rant with a smile on her face.

"Shut up! He was more in love with me than you! I didn't steal Harry from you! You two had already spilt up when we went searching for Voldemort. Our love was more than a fling, I really love Harry; he was kind, gentle, sweat, and caring. When he took my virginity he smiled afterwards because I didn't cry; 'warriors don't cry but my lover can' was his words. So don't you come in here and try to tell me about something you know nothing of! Now, for the last time get out you horrid wanker!"

Harry stepped forward and sized me in a hug, not like the ones he had given me before this moment, it held something none of the others did; extreme regret. I had to get them out, quickly; I was going to cry any minute. I pulled out my wand and muttered "_impedimenta_" and Harry was sent flying into a wall. He fell and landed on the torn in half bed, letting more of the feathers escape.

Ginny quickly rushed to Harry's side and held onto his upper torso and with the blink of an eye both she and Harry were gone with a faint "pop". I quickly walk out of the bedroom and into the bath room next to it. I can out a few seconds later deciding I didn't wan to touch anything with in it. I head down to the downstairs bathroom and slam the door shut and sat on the marble counter and quickly started to cry.

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_AN/ I hope you guys like it, sorry about the really long wait. I'm going to try and be at least three chapters ahead of every update, it'll be easier that way. I hope this chapter was long enough, I do intend to have at least 4000 words per chapter. Please review and tell me what you think!_

_IF YOU HAVE CRITISUM MAKE IT CONSTRUCTIVE, TELL ME WHAT I NEED TO IMPROVE ON._

_LATER! 6-9-06 11:43 PM. _


	4. Waiting

PLEASE READ:

AN: HEY EVERYONE! Gods! Sorry about this being what A MONTH AND A HALF since I've updated? but it'll be worth your while. I was trying to stay three chapters ahead of you guys; I am only half way done with chapter five. I was trying to make the chapters longer. This chapter Hermione finally gets comfort. Hermione doesn't have too many friends other than Harry, Ron and Ginny that is. So that is why Anthony is in here. If you haven't gotten this by now; Anthony is gay. My friends were like "they will get confused, you dick," so I felt bad. I want to acknowledge some special reviewers right now.

Moonbeam: totally with you on that. Sorry for the long wait.

Peachie1st: Thanks for the review. Sorry for the long wait.

Marsiana del martes: thank you for the kind words. Are you sure I'm a good writer? This topic isn't above my age?

BuckNC: you crossed the line when you said I haven't felt pain, heartache. I'm sure everyone has felt heartache and pain in some form or another. What I told you was true and you are an awful person to tell me other wise. The worst heartache I have felt is when two of my family members died; both very close to me; my grand mother and my brother who was only twenty four when he died. When you said that memories came back it was like I was reliving that whole day. I remember what I was doing the time he died. I remember I was sitting in my English class, not paying attention; talking to my friends and eating captain crunch cereal in the back.

I remembered what I was doing when my mom came home from work; I was sitting on my bed, doing my homework. She came in and just stood in the door, looking at me. She then said "they killed, Ricky," and I remember shouting "I want my brother back!" and she stayed in my room and we cried together. I also remember telling her that I want to go to school when she said I could stay home. I remember sitting at lunch next to my ex best friend and crying in my spaghetti. I can also remember begging the lunch aid to let me see my guidance councilor. I can remember sitting in his office and crying as I tell him my brother, my only brother, was dead.

I can remember him calling my mom from work and having her pick me up from school. I remember leaving the school and seeing my best friend Heather come to give me a hug good bye. I can remember being at home, on my bed watching TV and crying. But what I can't remember is you. I can't remember ever talking to you, ever knowing you. I can't remember you being there, watching me cry. So I'd like it for you to shut up and leave me alone. I'd like for you get a life and wait for me to update. I'd like for you to go jump in front of a bus because you don't know me and you will never know me.

PS. Stop being childish, I know I'm only 13, that won't stop me from being who I am. I will write what ever comes into my valley pee brain head (yeah, right). I am a smart YOUNG lady and will be treated to the capacity of my mind, not my age.

Oh, yeah. Fuck you with something hard and sandpapery.

Sorry guys I had to do that. What BuckNC was saying to me got me mad. It felt like he/she was mocking my brothers death and I couldn't handle that.

DaOnleeSam: I agree with you. But it's hard to get over your love.

dragoneyes5000: I was trying to make it sound bullish, glad it worked. In the books I just don't see what Harry sees in her. I mean she was a fake for the first four years she met him. I just thought it might be something she'd say.

computer boy: thanks for the spelling check, I was too lazy to look in the book. :'( I am so on that making the chapter's longer suggestion.

Tween Idol: omg, I love your enthusiasm for this story. I look forward to reading your reviews. Lol, I can actually see you beating the crap out of Ginny. You are right, bad things do happen to good people. Omg, you cuss, we are going to get along fine. Lol.

Obalesque: you old sweet talker you, jk. Thanks. You must me physic or I'm just predictable :(, everything you said is sort of right, grr to my predictable ness.

Lord Firefox: yes, when I was writing this I was like, what the hell did I do that for? How to get them together, me thinking. Then it came to me after days of plotting and watching classic TV.

Well that's it. Hope ya'll enjoy the story. I was going to update after my birthday but then I got to thinking that because my birthday will be August third and me, my Aunt, my mom and some friends may go away for a week or so and that would suck So I put this chapter up and after my birthday I'll give you the fifth chapter, again so sorry for the lateness. Oh, this is totally Harry and Hermione. I hate false advertising.

* * *

After crying in my bathroom I just lay on my counter staring at the silky white ceiling. I didn't know what to do; I just kept staring at the ceiling hoping to find the answer to my problem. I start to wonder what would have happened If I hadn't followed my heart and married Harry. This moment wouldn't be here and I'd be happily married to Ronald Weasley, but would I have been truly happy? As I think back now I was just a school girl with a crush on one of her best friends.

Ronald was and still is my best friend but I guess that's all we were meant to be, though I don't understand it. I thought we had more than that, I thought we'd be together forever, guess not. He went off and married the love of his life after the war ended. I couldn't believe Ronald Weasley would marry Pansy Parkinson; I thought Ron's hate of all slytherins would last our life time. To say Harry was shocked was an understatement but neither he or I could say anything, we had been having an affair for over three months.

I really hadn't been dating Ronald per say but it was known that we both wanted to, we just didn't have the Gryffindor courage to say it to each other. When Harry and I finally enlightened everyone we were together Ron took it a little hard but over the passing weeks he became his normal self, some what. He was less withdrawn and actually talked to me. What I found weird was that he hadn't really stopped talking to Harry, just me.

I was hurt and confronted Ron about this, I hadn't really meant for an argument to come from it. He got very angry and we had a fight. Not just any fight like we use to have but bigger; harsh words were said by both of us. For once in my life at Hogwarts I'd said something without even thinking. I said anything to make him hurt. Things like how much Harry was better than him, why I desired Harry over him, why he could never live up to Harry. Some of the nastiest things a person could say to Ronald Weasley. It was well know that Ron had insecurities about being a second banana to Harry and his brothers but when I threw those things in his face he exploded.

* * *

"…You manipulative bitch! You knew how I felt for you, yet you choose him. When will it ever stop being about Harry and be about me? I've loved you longer, wished to be with you more, why not me!" Ron yelled into the sky, he gave me a glance of irritation.

"Because! You were just late, as always. You never once approached me as a female, a potential girl friend; I was just supposed to wait, right?" I whispered to the still air. Damn, mid January was cold.

"Like you didn't have the same feelings, the same fears. Don't you know how much it hurts to see you with him, to see you laughing so carefree, without me? You love me, you didn't just make your feelings for me disappear; you love me," he said as he took long strides towards me. He'd grown taller and was now about six foot seven inches. Sometimes I wonder if it's human to be that tall.

"Stop! What ever you are about to do stop. Ron, I just want things to be the way they were before. I want us to be friends again. I want us to do as we had planned, get on with our life. If I can move on so can you. I love you," at that point Ron's face gained a new found hope only to be crushed at my next words.

"…and I'll always love you, as a brother, a gallant friend, a confidant. I want us to have silly quarrels over the most ridiculous things," I said beaming up at him, hoping to have made him feel a little better.

"My feels for you won't go away over night, it'll take time. I don't want to be a bother, me and my silly emotions," he said frostily. A part of me wonders why I was trying to make him feel better when he was trying so hard to make me feel guilty. I give a cold stare and walk away leaving traces of my anger in the snow as I stomp my way over to Harry, Ron didn't follow.

* * *

We made up a few weeks after. Ron was still slightly cold towards me but I over looked it; it was obvious he was in pain. When I heard he was dating Pansy Parkinson I almost died, but not from jealously but from shock., I thought it was all a trick on both their parts, Ron's and Pansy's but it's been a few years and they are still together. Ron now works as a professional Quidditch player for the Holiday Harpies, Pansy his manger but she doesn't really do anything; she was only there to keep an eye on him around groupies; I could have giggled at the thought.

Now that I'm out of my memories and back into the present I'm stuck at what to do. Do I just sit around the house, waiting…but for what? _Harry_. Wait for him to come back and then what? I didn't know so I slowly got up and looked at my reflection in the wide mirror. I looked a mess, my eyes red and slightly puffy from crying. My Hair seemed to me even bushier than when I was at Hogwarts. My robes were wrinkled and held tear stains; god I was I mess.

I turned on the water in the tub and readied it for a bath. I opened every cabinet to find the bathing scents and poured in a bit of every scent; lavender, peaches, strawberry, roses, lilac, lilies, and geranium blossoms; a special import. As I got into the tub I felt my muscles tense up from the hot water and then relax having once gotten use to it. I sent about 3 hours in the tub, even once the water had gotten cold I stayed in, liking the comfort of the different smells that drifted to my nose.

As I got out of the tub at one in the morning I felt lost. I had spent most of the time in the tub trying to think of ways to gain the upper hand; this was like a war and war had be thought out and if there was anyone who loved to think it was me. I wanted to calculate my every move; I wanted to come out on top. Just as I thought this my first instinct was to think of Harry; his competitiveness had gotten to me over the years.

I used my wand to dry my body and my hair. I conjured some of my muggle clothes from the master bed room and slowly put them on. Sometime, soon, I'm going to have to go back in that room, that room that I had once loved. I'd have to face what had been happening right under my nose, in my house, in my bed, soon; just not now. As I finished putting on a plain sky blue short sleeved shirt and a blue stretch jeans I turn to the tub. I pulled the plug and watched as the dirt off my skin went in circles down the drain.

If only I could get rid of things like that, just wash them down the drain. Watch my dirty deeds and thoughts go away. At that moment I wished that life had a delete button. I could delete every bad memory, every slimy thought, feeling, look. I felt so dirty, yet I looked so clean. I sighed and stood up. I took my wand and magically cleaned the tub of the left over grime. Then I stood there, a guest in my own house, an unwelcome guest. Then suddenly I felt a spark of hope with in my heart; I wasn't alone.

I ran out of the bathroom and left the door open so that the steam could escape and evaporate. I ran all the way into the sitting room and fell into a sitting position in front of the fire place. I grabbed a hand full of Floo powder and threw it into the fire and yelled "Anthony Hills" and my head appeared in his fire place. I looked around and held my breath, waiting for any signs that he was home. I yelled his name about three times and waited, I'm always waiting.

I didn't want to leave, didn't want to give up. He just had to be home. I turn my head as I hear his groggy voice yelling something about breast milk and I smile a small smile and wait. As I see him I couldn't help but widen my smile. He was wearing the gift I had gotten him, feet pajamas. I hadn't really expected him to wear them.

"Anthony!" I yell and he looks in the direction of his fire and a look of surprise comes over his face. He walks to me and kneels down.

"Hermione, if you needed a threesome you should have something at work," he said smiling at me but when he saw that I was almost about to cry he took on a more serious expression.

"What's wrong?" he asked like an over protected brother. He reminded me of Ron so much.

"I- I need you to come over, n-now. It's – r- really important," I said as the tears came down harder. He nodded his head and I knew he was coming. I try to give him a smile but I couldn't so I said good bye instead.

"I'll be there as fast as I can get dressed," he then stands up and walks to his bedroom. I pull my head out of the fire place and wait. I walk over to the plushy russet couch and lay down. In the next minute I heard a "pop" and look up to find my best friend staring down at me with an expression of sadness in his eyes.

Anthony, the first person I met on my first day of being an Auror. I was so excited; I was going to do something that would make me happy. I never thought of entering the profession while at Hogwarts but when I got out and the war was over I thought of all the lives I could save. Anthony was about five foot ten inches, around the same height as Harry and two inches taller than me.

He had chin length dark onyx hair; most of the time it blocks his steel blue eyes, giving him a very mysterious look. He had a very super model look and attitude about him, with his high cheek bones and distinguished nose. His creamy skin was what I envied about him most, if he stayed in the sun long enough he looked tanned.

Right now he was wearing muggle clothing and looked like he'd woken up in hell. I felt bad because I was going to trouble him with my predicament and worries. I sat up and ran to hug him, the faster I ran the more the tears came, until I felt his arms encircle my waist. It was a nice hug but some how I got the feeling Anthony knew; the pain, the hate, the sorrow. Everything I felt.

"What happened?" he asked as he led me back over to the couch. I didn't speak for a few moments and I knew he understood. I lean back on the couch and repeat with much difficulty what had happened when I got home from work. He sat and listened never once interrupting, which, in my opinion, is a good thing because if I stopped I wouldn't have started again.

"Six months?" he asked quietly, holding onto my hand to let me know he was there. I nodded and buried my face into the crook of his neck. I was still crying and it was hard to cry and talk at the same time. Anthony didn't ask any more questions for the rest of the night; he just let me cry while stroking my hair like my mother use to when I was younger.

I woke up the next morning with a terrible creek in my neck. That's what I get for sleeping on someone's shoulder in an upright position. I look over to see that Anthony hadn't moved from where I remembered him last night. I got up and swayed a bit because I hadn't moved my legs in a few hours. I went into the kitchen and looked in the refrigerator, the cooler and the freezer, and saw eggs, bacon, hash browns, sausages and pancake mix. I like to keep pancake mix in the cooler because it tastes better that way, or that's what I learned from my mum.

I make my over to the electric stove, grab a skillet and put it on the stove. I rummaged through the kitchen cabinets and find the cooking oil and pour it in the pan and turned on the stove. I lined everything up on the marble counter as the oil got hot. I cracked three eggs and started to whisk them. I added pepper and salt and poured the eggs in the pan. Bubbles began to form at the edges of the egg and I moved to another task.

I took out three hash browns, placed them on the good china and put them in the microwave. I turned back to the eggs and started to scramble them with the spatula. Holding onto the handle of the pan I continued scrambling. When I decided the eggs were done I went to the cabinet and go the table set up. About half an hour later breakfast was ready and I was sitting at the cherry wood dining table.

I didn't eat anything I made, not the eggs or the bacon or the hash browns. Anthony had woken up while I was making the bacon and helped me with the rest. He was sitting across from me; his plate was almost empty except for the few pieces of bacon he left and the maple syrup from the pancakes.

"I'm guess I'm use to Harry feeding me breakfast," I said quietly. He nodded and took my hand in his and I knew what he was asking.

"I don't know…maybe I can move in with my mother," I said sadly. He shook his head and looked at me like I was crazy.

"Why would you be moving out? You are not the one that committed adultery in this marriage!" he said heatedly.

"I know but I can't stay here! Every time I think about it I can see them! I can hear them moaning, I can hear her crying out his name, I can see them in every corner thrashing against each other. I can see her walking around OUR home like she owns it! I can't stay here!" and just like that I snapped. It was like a wave washing over me, the only thing I could feel was anger.

I jumped up and my chair fell back with a soft thud. My hands moved of their own accord and pushed the china in front of me onto the wooden floor, then I couldn't stop; it felt like the only way to get rid of my anger was to break things and I did just that. I cleared the table in one sweep of my hands. I walked into the sitting room and pulled out my wand. I pointed to every breakable thing I saw, for once not thinking of the consequences.

I pointed to the television that we had bought, and the screen blew up and cover the area around it with glass. I pointed to every flower vase and the six blew up in turn. I walked over to the couch and with wand less magic it started to rip its self and let loose its stuffing. I looked at the coffee table with distain and with a spark of my wand a well sized hole was placed in it. I spun around and made my way to Harry and mine's bedroom, destroying everything in the process of getting there.

I got to the door and stood still. I still wasn't ready and I hated myself for it. I made my way back to the kitchen to apologize to Anthony for my out burst when I saw it; our wedding portrait. I had wanted it to be a muggle portrait and Harry complied. His hair was still as messy as ever, his glasses firmly on the tip of his nose; his black tuxedo augmenting his emerald eyes. I stood next to him with my arms around his neck, smiling brightly while his arms were around my waist; pulling me closer.

I raised my wand and pointed it at his head and stood there, as if he were real. My mind told me to lower my wand but my fury told me other wise, each voice pushing me over the edge to do the unthinkable. That had been the happiest day of my life. Do I really want to do something I'd regret? And then the words had been formed on my lips before I knew it and even faster I had said them.

"Reducto," I whispered and my wand reacted and soon Harry's face was slowly disappearing in small flames. I dropped my wand and I then realized that I didn't regret it. That was what scared me a little. Was I ready to throw away all those years of friendship and love? _Why not? He threw it away first, _the voice whispered in my ear. I grabbed my wand and run into the kitchen where Anthony now occupied the wall.

"Done with your salvation?" he asked in a hard voice.

"I'm sorry; I was being childish and stupid but I just don't know what to do. You have to understand that," I yelled and threw my wand at his feet. He side stepped it and walked over to me. He smiled and patted me on the head, like my dad would have done; as though congratulating me on finally understanding a hard math problem.

"I know what you need. You need to go on a vacation; after telling your parents about you and Harry," I shook my head no.

"What I need to burn this house and everything in it," I said angrily.

"We can do that, too" he said and for a minute I thought he was serious. You never can tell with clowns. He turned his back to me and made his way down the hallway.

"Where are you going?" I asked still in the same spot.

"To pack your stuff seeing as you're not ready to go into that room, yet," he yelled over his shoulder. I wanted to run up to him and drag him back to the kitchen by he was already in the bed room.

"I'm not going!" I shouted to him. He ignored me and continued to do what he was going.

"I don't want anything in that room!" I yelled trying to stop him with out moving. It seemed it had worked because he came back out.

"Yea, we'll have to buy you new clothes then, won't we?" he said with a devious grin.

"I'm not going and stop smiling!" I yelled. How could he smile? How could anyone smile? He ignored me and made his way over to his fire place.

"I'm going to change my clothes, you better be ready when I get back," he said and picked up some Floo powder and with a burst of green light he was gone. I stood and turned my head in defiance; I wasn't going. I looked around the room and thought about what to do. Again I had that feeling of being lost. I felt weird and put my arms around myself; maybe I should go, it was better than staying here.

I looked over at the dishes on the floor and bent down to pick them up. Then I noticed a robe, my white silk robe. It was left carelessly on the floor. But I wouldn't leave it in the kitchen. My eyes traveled up some more and I was able to see silver high heeled shoes. Most curious since I didn't own any silver shoes, at least I don't think. I look up and I see legs, muscular, male legs. I stood up and I saw a naked Harry pushing a naked Ginny against the wall.

I gasped in shock and hurt. I blinked back tears of hurt and treachery. I looked again and they were gone. I walked back to the fire place, ready to tell Anthony okay when green light shadowed my face. I blinked in shock and looked up to the hysterical Ginny Weasley.

"Hermione, help! You have to help us. Something's wrong with Harry!" she said as soon as I opened my eyes.

"After we left last night," a slight tint in her cheeks could be seen. My hands balled into fist and my face squinted in anger.

"Go…way…" was all I said before I stormed out of the room. How dare her! How dare she come and do this to me. She now had me wondering what was wrong with Harry; I wondered if he was okay and found my self stopping to the call of her next words.

"He's got amnesia! He hasn't any idea who he is. Mum thought it best you were informed," she yelled.

"She thought it BEST I were informed! Aha! Tell her I'm a little busy at the moment, talk to her in another two years," I yelled but part of me wanted to go back, wanted to go to Harry, wanted Harry. And that was the part of me who Apparated right on the spot to the burrow.

* * *

AN: I modified a few things but the point is still the same. While I've been away I've been thinking of new stories and I'm actually in the process of writing an Inuyasha story! I am a totally Seeshomaru and Kagome shipper so that will be the ship. I'm also planning two other Harry Potter stories; they will remain a surprise until I write them out a little. See, I get ideas and just run with them after a bit of planning, if any. So I hope you liked this chapter; maybe it is out of my age; this topic, I mean I'm only thirteen, you guys think I should continue because I got lots more for this story; Lots of twist and head turners. Even if I'm young a girl can have an imagination, right? Please REVIW, I LOVE REVIEWERS! LOVE YOU GUYS.

Jayu: I just had to address you. I'd like to thank you and I really love that you love my story. I know it's over done but I'll try to be as original as possible, will you keep reading? I hope so. Oh, put you as last because you brought up and interesting point and I was lazy. :P


	5. Take My Hand, And Follow Salvation

_AN: Hey guys, you don't have to read this part; the important stuff is at the bottom. It explains why this is so over due. Hope I came through with this fast enough. I tried my best with the grammar; my computer tells me everything is all good; I have a good Microsoft Word program, I also have word perfect so you can't say I wasn't trying. : P I put some new things on my profile, my myspace is also there; take a look at myspace profile._

I'd like to quote a very special person when I address "Jo". Dear "Jo" "a bullet sounds the same in every language so why don't you shut the hell up you stupid cow!" – S.G. Family Guy.

You don't have to fucking read my story; oh, yeah. Go fuck your self. If you want to be a bitch that's fine with me; whores don't need my permission to be who they are.

PS. For not doing a sighed review you're a fucking coward or just **fucking** lazy. How the hell do you suppose I make sense of this? "For the sake the writing..." get a life bitch. There are so many things wrong with that sentence, it's lost all mean.

" For the sake the writing and the english language, stop this fuckng story. This is one of the worst fic ever. Reading this is fucking pain. "

Oh PSS. LEARN HOW TO FUCKING SPELL YOU FUCKING RETARD. "English" "Fucking" don't forget the "I", sweetie. For the sake of English; get a fucking life and go to school. Bitch. Did you for get how to make a complete sentence? Before you give me advice, I'll give you some…you're a bitch and you caught me at a bad time. Don't review for this story again; stop fucking reading if you don't like it, bitch. I mean there must be something you have to do? Clean crap, make something, teabag someone? No? Then get the fuck away from my story. God I hate hypocrites, again please learn spell before you get on my bad side, I only have so much patience and right now it's all gone.

_WELCOME TO MY LEARNATRUIM. HERE WE RELEARN THE THINGS FROM IN THE FIFTH GRADE._

Here is the correct version of "Jo's" review. No need to thank me "Jo". I'm happy to help the mentally challenged.

"For the sake of writing and the English language, stop this fucking story. This is one of the worst fic(s) ever; reading this is a fucking pain."

Well, not as much as it was reading your review.

Well, now to bring a good point to this story. (Wow, I was being a bitch there wasn't I? but ask my friends and you'll get "when are you not a bitch?")

"I think generally adults tend to forget that youth do know and understand pain and suffering, more so now than ever before. Television, the internet, books, and seeing it happen in real life to others really helps a child learn more about life than previous generations ever had the opportunity to do so.

However, if what BuckNC (no judgment intended) says is true anyone who has never been in the situation they are writing about can never truly understand how the character thinks or feels. This means that J. K. Rowling herself is wrong. After all, from what we know she has never had a dark lord trying to kill her. It also means any person who has ever written science fiction, fantasy, or most fiction in general is also in the wrong (fie on you, fan fiction writers, fie).

I believe you are at least nailing Hermione's feelings on the head. Though I myself have never been betrayed in such a manner, I have a good idea about how I would react.

Love the story. I hope you continue writing regardless of any negative or off putting feedback you might receive.

Obalesque"

I agree with Obalesque because that is a very good point; none of this is real and we're only doing this because we enjoy the book. At least that's why I do it, that and I want to be a writer. I wrote this story and others because I love Harry Potter; I love the thought of getting lost in something so much that I could almost think it was real. Sometimes I wonder how an idea this…big and complex yet so enjoyable could be thought of. I wonder how J.K could have thought of this and kept the plot the same. So I don't care what BuckNc has to say or "Jo" (you're still a fucking coward), all I care about is my story and those who care, I thank you and I will not rest until I have finished every thought and story idea I have.

Monnbeam: okay. Thank you for the review and I'm really sorry about the long wait, but you'll like this chapter, I hope.

dragoneyes5000: yep, last chapter the plot was seen and I can't say more with out giving stuff away. But you'll enjoy.

Dawn.And.Twilight: thank you very much for your very kind words. Sorry about the long wait. I was going to do this thing that they do in Japan. Since I was insulted I was going to stop the story until I could forgive BuckNc but then I was fuck that; that would be so stupid.

asianhomiequeen101: yes, the twist, I hope, came as a shock? That's what I was hoping for.

Tween Idol: lol. Sorry about the long wait; I hope the chapter is long enough to make up for it. "Tears of joy for her baby's relationship". That had me laughing; a lot. Lol. Sometimes Molly can be a bitch; in my humblest opinion.

Thealphamale: this is totally Harry and Hermione, as I said I hate false advertising. A writer did that to me and I was so pissed off. She put the story as Draco and Hermione and it ended up being Ron and Hermione in the middle of the story! I was pissed off I stopped reading.

Snuffles Is My Idol o.O: okay. Thanks for the review and the words of kindness. Sorry about the long wait; was it worth it?

DISCLAIMER: don't own, Harry potter but I do own other stuff….like the characters and they're jobs and the money, don't forget the money. Never mind, I have no owner ship on Harry Potter. Cry.

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_**Take My Hand, And Follow Salvation**_

As I Apparated to the Burrow I was bum rushed with people, they were all calling my name, asking me questions and some were even giving me nasty looks. I backed away from them and made my way over to Harry who could be seen in the middle of a swarm of people. He looked pale and my heart ached just seeing him. As I made my way over I begin to question my reasons for being here, I knew I still loved him but would I be able to move on…without him?

I pushed people out of my way and stood in front of Harry. He looked so weak and child like. On impulse I took his hand in mine and felt his forehead; he was a little clammy and his hand was limp in my own. Worry over came me and I looked at the people around me. I saw, Ginny, Fred, George, Bill, Charlie, Fleur, Lupin, Mad Eye Moody, Tonks, and a lot of press people that I did not know.

"What happened to him?" I asked angrily with a scowl on my face. I look at them all in turn expect Mrs. Weasley.

"Why don't you tell us?" Mrs. Weasley answered for the rest of the group.

"How should I know? The last I saw of Harry he was in bed with Ginny," I said coldly. A gasp of shock went around the room, mainly from the press. Soon flashes of light and quick quills in my face told me the press got over they're shock. Ginny blushed and bowed her head in what I hope was shame, torture and humiliation, lots of humiliation.

"So you found out, I'm sorry –"what ever Mrs. Weasley was going to say was cut off by my rage. She knew! She had known and hadn't the common decency to tell me about it. Who else knew? How long had I been playing the part of the fool? I looked at them all with sadness and hurt. I thought they were something akin to my family, I've know them since I was eleven.

"You knew? You knew about they're betrayal and didn't tell me? Even after what's happened Molly, I would have thought you'd forgive and forget. Ron and I were never together, despite what he may have told you," I looked over to the rest of the group not caring that the press had me quoted word for word.

"I am sick of wasting my time trying to mend things with you guys; it's not my fault I fell out of love with Ron and in love with Harry, okay? At some point I had hoped you'd forgive me but obviously I was a fool; in more ways than one," here I looked over at Ginny, her head now high, as though she had found justification for her actions.

"Ginny! You were friend! I let you stay at my house, eat with us, we even did holidays together, why?" there was no sadness in my voice and I truly felt none.

"I don't know Hermione, everything just seemed so right, it still does," she said, walking to Molly and leaning her head on her mother's shoulder.

"That's how you justify destroying my marriage?" I yelled. I wanted to scream, I wanted to break things again. My hand was itching to touch something breakable. I stomped my foot in anger and some part of me filled with hate as they all defended her actions. No one had come to my rescue when I had told them I didn't love Ron.

A part of my body burned with jealousy, while the other was torn between hate and sadness. Sad that the people I had know for years would do this to me, even Lupin. For months in third year I kept his secret, months of lying to protect him; and he lied to me. Were these the same people I used to know?

"Really Ginny, I would have expected more of you. But no matter, I only came to see what was wrong with Harry, not to fight or talk to you," I said as I looked back at Harry; our fingers still entwined.

"Well, after you used your wand on him, he was knocked unconscious. He only woke up once and so far ever thing has been wiped from his memory," Ginny said as tears poured from her eyes.

"Then why am I here? I'm sure you guys can fix it. If you'll move I'll be going on my vacation now," I said to Ginny and Molly.

"No! That's just it! Nothing will get him back to normal; we've tried everything and nothing helped. We were going to have mum take care of him but…" here Ginny's face turned sour.

"Seeing as – you're his – wife the doctors thought we get your – permission. If you just give us your permission we'll take care of everything and you can go on you're vacation," Ginny finished. Molly nodded her head.

"So let me see. You want me to entrust my husbands welfare in your hands? What kind of attention will he get? How will you pay for it most importantly?" I asked, sensing something not right amongst me.

"Well, you see that's why we need your permission. With your permission we can take care of him," Molly cut in.

"You've already said that. What I want to know is what kind of treatment will he be getting and how will you pay for it?" I yelled.

"do not think me a child Molly; I am after all, the smartest witch of my age," I said acidly.

"I see right through you. With my permission you get access to our bank account; allowing you unlimited access to our money…my answer is no, permission denied. Where is this doctor?" I said as I paced a few feet of the living room.

"Hermione! You don't even love him anymore! I know you guys are going to get a divorce; just let us take care of Harry, it's what's best," Tonks had spoken for the first time since I was there.

"You do not know 'what's best' Tonks. 'What's best' is you all mind your own business before I get into an unstable place of anger. Where is the damn doctor!" I yelled the last bit and a moan next to me could be heard. In all the fighting I forgot about Harry; his being had slipped into the furthest reaches of my mind. If I truly loved this man then why did I forget about him in such a vital time?

Ginny rushed to Harry's side and in her haste, I'm sure, to get to him she knocked me to the ground. I growled as I made my way to them, I squirmed with rage and jealousy; Ginny's hands roamed Harry's body with a heated passion; worry etched on her face. I made it to Harry's side to see him looking at Ginny and I felt small, a whimper of hurt came from my lips and caught Harry's attention; his head turned to me and his eyes glazed over for a few seconds.

He struggled to speak as he looked at me, his lips moving in a heated fashion; though no words were coming out. He grew frustrated and sat up on the cot. He cleared his throat, gaining Ginny's attention, like he didn't have it before. Again his lips moved and a heated battle between his tongue and his throat began.

"Harry?" Ginny asked attentively. I rolled my eyes; she acted as if he was going to rip her arm off. Ginny sat on the side of his cot and hugged him; my eyes flashed warningly. I licked my lips in an attempt to claim myself. Then I realized that this women, Ginny, was a threat to me. No matter if I got Harry back because she'd always be there to remind me of what I'd lost. Why had this not come to me sooner? Why was I being such a goddamn fool?

"We did a bad thing," Harry said but to whom was he talking? I looked at him in hope; maybe there could be something after all.

"Hermione, Ginny and I had an affair and it was wrong," Harry said to – Ginny. My eyes opened wide and the tingling feeling in my eyes told me I was about three seconds away from crying; Ginny looked confused and sad.

"It meant nothing, I was just so angry and I let it get too far; the first time shouldn't have happened and I'm sorry. I know you must hate me but I hope you can forgive me – don't cry Hermione; I love you," Harry said to Ginny, for she had started to cry. At his last words her tears came faster. Harry pulled her into a hug and she cried into his chest. _That should be me, _whispered a voice in my ear. I nodded my head and soon my tears came but no one was there to huge _me_, to comfort _me,_ to hold _me_.

Soon my tears became sobs and I turned my head south and looked at the floor. I knew quite well now that the press was there and I had to at least, if not keep my husband, keep my dignity; however little of it I had left. As each tear streamed down my cheeks I tried to quiet my sobs and heart ache. No man had made me cry this much, except Ron. I heard a faint pop and wanted to look up but didn't. Soon arms encircled my waist and I was pulled into a male's chest.

"You okay?" Anthony asked in a hushed voice, as if he was soothing a newborn baby. I shook my head and cried in his chest. Wasn't anyone going to tell Harry that I was his wife? Wasn't anyone going to tell him I'm not Ginny? That he should be confessing his undying love for **me** not **Ginny**? Wasn't someone going to shake me from this nightmare?

I heard staged whispers from the press and felt my insides boil with anger and hatred. How dare them! I heard things like:

"So, they were both being deceitful?"

"I knew it wouldn't last!"

"Who gets the house?"

"What will happen now?"

"Oh, shut up! All of you! The only one being unfaithful in this marriage was Harry! Do not besmirch my name you evil, vile – "I was stopped by Anthony who had let go of me. My eyes searched for him and found him by Harry. Anthony gave Harry a withering glance and then looked at Ginny in his arms.

"You realize, don't you Harry, that this isn't your wife?" he asked as if discussing the weather or sports. Harry looked down at his arms at Ginny and gave her a puzzled look.

"Hermione? What is he talking about? I know you said he was a friend but – "Harry was cut of my Ginny.

"I'm not Hermione! I- I'm Ginny," she grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him a bit.

"Why don't you recognize me? You said y-you loved m-m-me! What happened? We were going to get married, have a life and beautiful babies; you said so! You promised!" she looked miserable and hopeless; and for a while I truly pitied her.

"But Hermione – "

"I'm not Hermione! Just tell me you love me, that's all I need to hear from you; please," she asked almost pathetically. Harry looked frightened but answered anyway.

"I love you, Hermione," and he leaned in to kiss Ginny but I interrupted with a slap to his face. My breathing was heavy and my heart thundered in my ears, throbbing against my ribcage. I felt the heat rise in my face as my eyes gleamed a malicious glint.

"How dare you! How dare you kiss another woman in front of me! How dare you treat me in such a way; I've done nothing but love you, caressed you as I have no one else; longed for you like no other, and you do this, in front of the press! I have loved like no other woman could, you said so; so why, after all we've been through, do this?" I shouted, raising my hand to smack him again only to have it restrained by Ginny.

"Don't hurt him! Please, I know you hate me right now and that you would rather have me killed than see me happy but please; don't hurt him," Ginny pleaded with me. I pulled my hand away from her grasp and stared her down.

"Our doctors will be by to take to Harry away, leave this alone, or else," I said with as much conviction I could muster in my state.

"Come on Hermione, let's get you ready," Anthony said as he grabbed my hand and began to pull me towards the door.

"When my lawyers and I get back with the doctor Harry better be ready," I said as I gave Molly the best glare I could while in motion. As we left I was fuming on the inside, the nerve of them. I was shaking with resentment, indignation and hurt. I had wanted to be held in Harry's arms like that, crying with a little happiness as he held me tightly. That hug was for me; those sweet words were for me, me and only me!

I felt like a teenager again; then again but muggle standards I was. I felt the jealousy seep into my bones and consume me; every part of my body ached for Harry; wanting what only he could give, needing him with an intense zeal.

"It's going to be okay," Anthony said, as if reading my thoughts. I nodded my head, though not believing.

"So I guess you want your lawyer," I nodded; he dropped my hand and pulled me in a hug.

"Later, tomorrow, I promise you; we're leaving for the promise land!" he said, I nodded my head, wanting to smile, hoping to smile but I didn't. I turned my head as I heard that pop that signaled Anthony's departure. I wasn't even thinking about where we were going, how we were getting there; just hoping to forget; if only a little. For the next half an hour I was with our lawyers, he contacted a doctor to go to the burrow. We drew up contracts incase anything went wrong.

We Apparated to the Burrow and found Harry waiting on the cot in the corner, press still there. Argon made his way over to Molly and reached into a brown manila folder and handed her the contracts he drew up, magically of course.

"This contract states that you have done everything in your power to try and get Harry's memory back but was unsuccessful. It also says that you will not interfere with anything Mrs. Potter seems fit; regarding Harry's health. Now, sign here, here and her," Argon said as he pointed to each spot. Molly looked offended and her infamous temper was getting the best of her.

"It's what's best," I said mocking them. Ginny's eyes glared at me and frankly I didn't care. I walked over to Harry and he looked at me closely. Confusion evident in his features; I smiled a sad smile.

"It's me, Hermione. Come with me; we're leaving," I held out my hand to him.

"Where are we going?" he asked confused; he didn't take my hand but instead moved closer to Ginny, I dropped my hand and scowled. I moved and let Argon explain to Harry; if I did I'd surely yell. Five minutes later Harry was ready to leave; very reluctant when he found out "Hermione" wouldn't be coming.

Argon left first and I grabbed onto Harry's hand and I was gone. As we Apparated back to the house I felt my skin crawl. I dropped Harry's hand and made my way out of the living room. Harry followed me seeing as he didn't have any idea what was going on. That got me to wondering how he knew he had an affair but didn't know anything else. I made a note to ask the doctor this.

I made my way to the guest bed room and left Harry there; he didn't seem to mind. For the next hour I went around the house I cleaned up the mess I made; magically of course. While cleaning my mind wonders about many things; almost all of them included Harry. I readied myself for a nap in the guest room away from Harry's. I plop down on the white linens sheets and fell asleep; shoes and all. I woke up to a knock, more of a bang, on the door.

"What?" I asked from my position on the bed, I didn't even bother moving, I was too tired. The door opened to reveal Harry and Anthony. I growled out a few colorful words and put a pillow over my head.

"Come on, it's time to leave. The promise land awaits us!" Anthony yelled from the door.

"Fuck the promise land," was my response. I looked at the clock on the wall left of me; five thirty AM. What was wrong with this picture? Not even I woke up this early! I looked to see if they had left; the room had gone quiet. I looked to see Harry and Anthony just staring at me. I squirmed at the unpleasantness; who wants to be looked at without reason.

I flipped on my stomach to block their gaze; I looked over my shoulder- they were still looking. I balled my hands to make fist and turned on my side, staring at the wall in front of me, suddenly getting sick looking at the green color of the wall. I sighed and got up.

"See, I knew you'd give in. now lets go! The plane leaves at seven forty five; we can't be late," Anthony said as he lead Harry and I into the kitchen. I looked puzzled and took a seat at the kitchen table.

"Why don't we just Apparate? Or use a Porkey?" I asked, trying to find a way I could get more sleep. I've never been this tired since the timer turner.

"Then you'd know where we're going, no fun in that!" was all I got.

"Are you guys going somewhere?" Harry asked timidly.

"No."

"Yes," I looked at Anthony; I raised an eyebrow in response to his "no".

"**We**,"he pointed to myself and him.

"Aren't going any where, **we**," he pointed to me, Harry and himself.

"Are going somewhere," I vaguely wondered how that sentence made any sense. My eyes flashed and I was up in an instant. Before I could get a word out Anthony cut me off.

"My mind is made up – and the tickets are already paid for, I can't sell them back," I folded my arms and turned my head.

"You don't want me to come, Ginny?" Harry asked.

"My name isn't Ginny!" I yelled and went to the guest room, slamming the door behind me.

------------------

_AN/ I'm ending here because I really want to get this chapter out. I wanted to get it out sooner but I was busy. I had to take care of a four year old boy for over a WEEK! I'm sorry; I'm scared for life; I had to bathe the kid. I'm not in anyway related to this child but my mom told his mom that I'D look after him! In the week of my birthday! I almost missed my own birthday party because I had to watch him. What I hated was the fact that she didn't even ask me! So I didn't have any fun last week and I missed everything my friends and I wanted to do. Every five seconds he wanted something, so I didn't have much time for my self. So again sorry!_

_As you can see, Molly isn't upset with Harry for taking Hermione but she's mad at Hermione because she thinks that Hermion lead Ron on. So she's talking to Harry but not Hermione. Who knew Molly could be so...what's the word I'm looking for? Vendictive._

_PLEASE REVIEW!_

_I'm going to do this because I fell in love with this song; I was watching a Sesshomaru video on and the song was on the video, I really thought it went well with the video. Here's crush by Mandy Moore; if you hate her please just review._

You know everything that I'm afraid of  
You do everything i wish i did  
Everybody wants you, everybody loves you

I know i should tell you how i fell  
I wish everyone would disappear  
Every time time you call me, I'm too scared to be me  
And I'm too shy to say

Ooh, I got a crush on you  
I hope you feel the way that i do  
I get a rush  
When I'm with you  
Ooh, I've got a crush on you  
A crush on you

You know, I'm the one that you can talk to  
And sometimes you tell me thing that i don't want to know  
I just want to hold you  
And you say exactly how you feel about her  
And I wonder, could you ever think of me that way

Ooh, I got a crush on you  
I hope you feel the way that i do  
I get a rush  
When I'm with you  
Ooh, I've got a crush on you  
A crush on you

Ooh, I wish i could tell somebody  
But there's no one to talk to, nobody knows  
I've got a crush on you  
A crush on you, I got a crush

You say everything that no one says  
But i feel everything that you're afraid to feel  
I will always want you, I will always love you  
I've got a crush...

I'm such an Oreo.


End file.
